Sunday, October 25, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
“THE HABIT OF PRAYER”
Romans 12:12 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. New Living Translation (NLT)
HOW TO REVITALIZE YOUR PRAYER LIFE
I. Approach prayer with the right attitude (Matt. 6:5-8)
• Be Real
Verse 5 -“And now about prayer. When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I assure you, that is all the reward they will ever get. .6.But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.
Don’t try to impress other people
Don’t try to impress God
• Be Relaxed
Verse 6 - But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.
• Be Revealing
Verse 7- “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again. II. Use the model JESUS gave us
Matt. 6: 9-15
9. After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenlyFather will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
THE 6 PARTS OF PRAYER
Romans 8: 32 Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?
James 4:2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
1. Praise : I begin
by Expressing my love to God.
“ Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name…”
Two kinds of Praise
• Adoration – Praising God for who He is.
• Thanksgiving – Praising God for what He has done.
“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”
Psalm 100:4
How to praise God
1st. As you read your bible make a list of God’s character, qualities that you discover and then review them when you pray
Ex.
God is patient Num. 14:18 God is living 1 john 4:8
God is merciful Num. 14:18
God is forgiving Num. 14
God knows everything 1 sam 2:2
Key: God’s Character is the basis for our boldness in making request in prayer. God answers the prayer that acknowledge who He is!
2nd. Remind yourself and affirm the promises God has made that are contained in the meaning of His name.
3rd. Make a list of all that you are thankful for and review them when you pray.
2. Purpose: I commit
Pray for God’s will to be
In church, future, job
City, work etc..
“Your kingdom come your will be done”
Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3. Provision I ask
“Give us today”
What needs can I pray about? ALL
Phil 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:32 Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?
James 4:2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
THE KEY: When you have a need
Ask God for it
Write down your request with a promise you are claiming from the bible and expect an answer.
Phil. 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
4. Pardon I Ask
Forgive us our debts…
4 Steps to Forgiveness
1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal every sin.
Psalm139:23-24- Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
2. Confess each sin specifically
Proverbs 28: 13 People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.
3. Make Restitution to other when necessary.
Matthew 5: 23-24 “So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you,
24 leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.
4. By faith, Accept God’s forgiveness.
1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse from every wrong.
5. People: I Pray
“As we also forgive our debtors”
1 Timothy 2:1 - I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. As you make your requests, plead for God’s mercy upon them, and give thanks.
If you want to know how to pray for others… look at the prayer of paul.
Ephesians 1: 15-19 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for Christians everywhere, 16 I have never stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people. 19 I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 1 thess. 1: 2-3 - We always thank God for all of you and pray for you constantly. 3 As we talk to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and your continual anticipation of the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. Col. 1:3-12 - We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, .4.for we have heard that you trust in Christ Jesus and that you love all of God’s people. .5.You do this because you are looking forward to the joys of heaven—as you have been ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. .6.This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is changing lives everywhere, just as it changed yours that very first day you heard and understood the truth about God’s great kindness to sinners. 7 Epaphras, our much loved co-worker, was the one who brought you the Good News. He is Christ’s faithful servant, and he is helping us in your place. 8 He is the one who told us about the great love for others that the Holy Spirit has given you. 9 So we have continued praying for you ever since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you a complete understanding of what he wants to do in your lives, and we ask him to make you wise with spiritual wisdom. 10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and you will continually do good, kind things for others. All the while, you will learn to know God better and better. 11 We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy, 12 always thanking the Father, who has enabled you to share the inheritance that belongs to God’s holy people, who live in the light. 2 Thess. 1: 11-12 And so we keep on praying for you, that our God will make you worthy of the life to which he called you. And we pray that God, by his power, will fulfill all your good intentions and faithful deeds.12 everyone will give honor to the name of our Lord Jesus because of you, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the undeserved favor of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ. Make a prater list of people you want to pray for . You might pray for different people on different days of the week.
6. Protection I Ask
verse 13 of matthew “ And don’t let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Believers face a spiritual battle everyday. Satan wants to defeat you through temptation and fear. By praying for protection you will have the confidence to face every situation during the day.
1 John 4:4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won your fight with these false prophets, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who live
HOW TO REVITALIZE YOUR PRAYER LIFE
I. Approach prayer with the right attitude (Matt. 6:5-8)
• Be Real
Verse 5 -“And now about prayer. When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I assure you, that is all the reward they will ever get. .6.But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.
Don’t try to impress other people
Don’t try to impress God
• Be Relaxed
Verse 6 - But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.
• Be Revealing
Verse 7- “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again. II. Use the model JESUS gave us
Matt. 6: 9-15
9. After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenlyFather will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
THE 6 PARTS OF PRAYER
Romans 8: 32 Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?
James 4:2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
1. Praise : I begin
by Expressing my love to God.
“ Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name…”
Two kinds of Praise
• Adoration – Praising God for who He is.
• Thanksgiving – Praising God for what He has done.
“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”
Psalm 100:4
How to praise God
1st. As you read your bible make a list of God’s character, qualities that you discover and then review them when you pray
Ex.
God is patient Num. 14:18 God is living 1 john 4:8
God is merciful Num. 14:18
God is forgiving Num. 14
God knows everything 1 sam 2:2
Key: God’s Character is the basis for our boldness in making request in prayer. God answers the prayer that acknowledge who He is!
2nd. Remind yourself and affirm the promises God has made that are contained in the meaning of His name.
3rd. Make a list of all that you are thankful for and review them when you pray.
2. Purpose: I commit
Pray for God’s will to be
In church, future, job
City, work etc..
“Your kingdom come your will be done”
Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3. Provision I ask
“Give us today”
What needs can I pray about? ALL
Phil 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:32 Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?
James 4:2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
THE KEY: When you have a need
Ask God for it
Write down your request with a promise you are claiming from the bible and expect an answer.
Phil. 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
4. Pardon I Ask
Forgive us our debts…
4 Steps to Forgiveness
1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal every sin.
Psalm139:23-24- Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
2. Confess each sin specifically
Proverbs 28: 13 People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.
3. Make Restitution to other when necessary.
Matthew 5: 23-24 “So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you,
24 leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.
4. By faith, Accept God’s forgiveness.
1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse from every wrong.
5. People: I Pray
“As we also forgive our debtors”
1 Timothy 2:1 - I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. As you make your requests, plead for God’s mercy upon them, and give thanks.
If you want to know how to pray for others… look at the prayer of paul.
Ephesians 1: 15-19 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for Christians everywhere, 16 I have never stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people. 19 I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 1 thess. 1: 2-3 - We always thank God for all of you and pray for you constantly. 3 As we talk to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and your continual anticipation of the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. Col. 1:3-12 - We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, .4.for we have heard that you trust in Christ Jesus and that you love all of God’s people. .5.You do this because you are looking forward to the joys of heaven—as you have been ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. .6.This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is changing lives everywhere, just as it changed yours that very first day you heard and understood the truth about God’s great kindness to sinners. 7 Epaphras, our much loved co-worker, was the one who brought you the Good News. He is Christ’s faithful servant, and he is helping us in your place. 8 He is the one who told us about the great love for others that the Holy Spirit has given you. 9 So we have continued praying for you ever since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you a complete understanding of what he wants to do in your lives, and we ask him to make you wise with spiritual wisdom. 10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and you will continually do good, kind things for others. All the while, you will learn to know God better and better. 11 We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy, 12 always thanking the Father, who has enabled you to share the inheritance that belongs to God’s holy people, who live in the light. 2 Thess. 1: 11-12 And so we keep on praying for you, that our God will make you worthy of the life to which he called you. And we pray that God, by his power, will fulfill all your good intentions and faithful deeds.12 everyone will give honor to the name of our Lord Jesus because of you, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the undeserved favor of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ. Make a prater list of people you want to pray for . You might pray for different people on different days of the week.
6. Protection I Ask
verse 13 of matthew “ And don’t let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Believers face a spiritual battle everyday. Satan wants to defeat you through temptation and fear. By praying for protection you will have the confidence to face every situation during the day.
1 John 4:4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won your fight with these false prophets, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who live
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sariling Likha- (tula)
Minsan
Minsan akala ko, di na kita mahal
Minsan kala ko ayoko na, suko na ‘ko
Minsan kala ko wala na talaga
Pero… minsan lang ‘yon; Di pala totoo
Mahal kita… mahal na mahal
Kahit minsan nakaka- asar ka
Minsan din nakaka- bad trip
Minsan ang hirap sakyan
Pero… minsan lang ‘yon
Mas madalas,
Mahal kita
Minsan ang sarap isipin ng mga nagdaan
Minsan masaya, minsan malungkot
Minsan may away, minsan tawanan
Minsan din may deadmahan
Pero… minsan lang ‘yon
Mas madalas,
Sweet moments
Minsan pag may tampuhan tayo
Kala ko katapusan na
Minsan din nai-isip ko “hanggang Kailan kaya tayo?”
Pero alam mo? Isang bagay lang ang kahit minsan
Hindi pumasok sa isip ko…
Minsan di ko naisip na di tayo sa bandang huli
Dahil ang pagmamahal ko ay di lang minsan
MAGPAKAILAN MAN!
Minsan akala ko, di na kita mahal
Minsan kala ko ayoko na, suko na ‘ko
Minsan kala ko wala na talaga
Pero… minsan lang ‘yon; Di pala totoo
Mahal kita… mahal na mahal
Kahit minsan nakaka- asar ka
Minsan din nakaka- bad trip
Minsan ang hirap sakyan
Pero… minsan lang ‘yon
Mas madalas,
Mahal kita
Minsan ang sarap isipin ng mga nagdaan
Minsan masaya, minsan malungkot
Minsan may away, minsan tawanan
Minsan din may deadmahan
Pero… minsan lang ‘yon
Mas madalas,
Sweet moments
Minsan pag may tampuhan tayo
Kala ko katapusan na
Minsan din nai-isip ko “hanggang Kailan kaya tayo?”
Pero alam mo? Isang bagay lang ang kahit minsan
Hindi pumasok sa isip ko…
Minsan di ko naisip na di tayo sa bandang huli
Dahil ang pagmamahal ko ay di lang minsan
MAGPAKAILAN MAN!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Does God Promise You a Spouse?
Jennifer was a disgruntled, single woman at my church. She was thirty-six years old and complained that her life was slipping away. Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo. Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love. Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.
After attending church regularly for over two years, she suddenly disappeared. Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaurant and asked her whether she had moved to another church. She replied, “No, I’ve quit church altogether. I just can’t bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness.” Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He’d better bring her a husband—and fast.
Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.
The gripe for love
My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage. I started to wonder if God actually cared about my romantic relationships. Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life. Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.
Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart, “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?”
In tears of resignation, I conceded, “I appreciate Your love, Lord, but all I really want is a wife.” I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete. In essence, I valued human love more than God’s love.
One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past. In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love. No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn’t accept me for who I was.
Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, “Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers everything I need.” With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life. If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay—God promised to fulfill my heart.
When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy. Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe that we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.
God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make our lives easy. He had no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me. Instead, God wanted to use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.
The freedom to love
Likewise, God is working in your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take. You can choose to become romantic, just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the other hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.
The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, but that individual may choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity create numerous barriers to good relationships.
Yet, why is life so hard sometimes? Why doesn’t God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually, God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.
God uses His sovereign power to encourage people to love each other, but He also allows us to make selfish choices that can tear us apart. God permits calamity so that we can experience His greatest gift – a free will. Without free will, you and I would be robots or lifeless, stuffed animals. Fortunately, God limits His power to let us make our own choices in life. Does your free will nullify God’s omnipotence? No, as Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord.” God is so powerful that He can allow you to choose and still work the outcome for His glory.
Why is free will so important? God wants you to enjoy true love, and true love cannot exist without a choice. If you were forced to love God or another person, then love would disappear, and you would be under manipulation. Free will is the key ingredient to true love.
I recognized the importance of this truth when I couldn’t get a date for my junior high school prom. I had asked several girls, but they all turned me down. Four days before the big dance, however, a friend told me about a girl, named Tiffany, who needed a date. Frankly, I wasn’t attracted to her, but I asked her anyway, because she was my only option.
During the prom, Tiffany and I attempted to be cordial, but it became obvious that neither of us had an interest in each other. We didn’t talk during dinner, we didn’t want to dance as the band played, and we didn’t smile as our pictures were taken. Most of the evening, we sat in silence and stared dreamily at the students whom we really liked. Through that ordeal, I learned that love cannot exist unless both parties freely choose to be together.
Therefore, finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Marriage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pairs people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn’t He stop divorce? Instead, God lets us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.
The choice to love
God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus, marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choices you make.
Does God promise you a spouse? Yes, as the bride of Jesus Christ. Does God promise you an earthly spouse? No, because finding a husband is a process, in which two people decide to sacrifice themselves for each other’s benefit. So, don’t let the goal of earthly marriage control your life. Otherwise, you will become miserable, because you cannot control the future or free will of other people.
God wants your spiritual marriage to be your heart’s primary source of love and acceptance. Earthly relationships are the avenues to express His love to others. The more you love other people, the more you increase opportunities for an intimate relationship to develop. God may not orchestrate a passionate romance on earth, but He promises a life of passion to enjoy with Him.
Questions:
Use the following questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:
Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?
Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?
Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?
Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?
Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?
If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand, find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians 4:6-13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
Special thanks to Rob Eagar (author) for sending this article to my e-mail. God bless.
After attending church regularly for over two years, she suddenly disappeared. Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaurant and asked her whether she had moved to another church. She replied, “No, I’ve quit church altogether. I just can’t bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness.” Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He’d better bring her a husband—and fast.
Does God promise us a spouse? The Bible says “yes” by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ. Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say, “I’m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can’t feel Him. Wouldn’t it be better if I could enjoy God’s love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on.” So, we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.
The gripe for love
My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage. I started to wonder if God actually cared about my romantic relationships. Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life. Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.
Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart, “Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?”
In tears of resignation, I conceded, “I appreciate Your love, Lord, but all I really want is a wife.” I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete. In essence, I valued human love more than God’s love.
One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past. In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love. No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn’t accept me for who I was.
Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, “Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers everything I need.” With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life. If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay—God promised to fulfill my heart.
When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy. Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe that we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.
God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make our lives easy. He had no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me. Instead, God wanted to use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.
The freedom to love
Likewise, God is working in your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take. You can choose to become romantic, just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the other hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.
The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, but that individual may choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity create numerous barriers to good relationships.
Yet, why is life so hard sometimes? Why doesn’t God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually, God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.
God uses His sovereign power to encourage people to love each other, but He also allows us to make selfish choices that can tear us apart. God permits calamity so that we can experience His greatest gift – a free will. Without free will, you and I would be robots or lifeless, stuffed animals. Fortunately, God limits His power to let us make our own choices in life. Does your free will nullify God’s omnipotence? No, as Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord.” God is so powerful that He can allow you to choose and still work the outcome for His glory.
Why is free will so important? God wants you to enjoy true love, and true love cannot exist without a choice. If you were forced to love God or another person, then love would disappear, and you would be under manipulation. Free will is the key ingredient to true love.
I recognized the importance of this truth when I couldn’t get a date for my junior high school prom. I had asked several girls, but they all turned me down. Four days before the big dance, however, a friend told me about a girl, named Tiffany, who needed a date. Frankly, I wasn’t attracted to her, but I asked her anyway, because she was my only option.
During the prom, Tiffany and I attempted to be cordial, but it became obvious that neither of us had an interest in each other. We didn’t talk during dinner, we didn’t want to dance as the band played, and we didn’t smile as our pictures were taken. Most of the evening, we sat in silence and stared dreamily at the students whom we really liked. Through that ordeal, I learned that love cannot exist unless both parties freely choose to be together.
Therefore, finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Marriage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pairs people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn’t He stop divorce? Instead, God lets us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.
The choice to love
God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus, marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choices you make.
Does God promise you a spouse? Yes, as the bride of Jesus Christ. Does God promise you an earthly spouse? No, because finding a husband is a process, in which two people decide to sacrifice themselves for each other’s benefit. So, don’t let the goal of earthly marriage control your life. Otherwise, you will become miserable, because you cannot control the future or free will of other people.
God wants your spiritual marriage to be your heart’s primary source of love and acceptance. Earthly relationships are the avenues to express His love to others. The more you love other people, the more you increase opportunities for an intimate relationship to develop. God may not orchestrate a passionate romance on earth, but He promises a life of passion to enjoy with Him.
Questions:
Use the following questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:
Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?
Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?
Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?
Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?
Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?
If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand, find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians 4:6-13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
Special thanks to Rob Eagar (author) for sending this article to my e-mail. God bless.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
My KFC Family
KFC in 2009 girls- (R-L) lolit,me,bless,myla, Boys-(R-L) joel,obet. del.rene
KFC 2008 (R-L)myla,me,obet.joel,lolit.del &froy
KFC 2006 (R-L) Obet,Froy. Myla. Me, Allan, & Joel
KFC 2005 (R-L)Marlon, Me,Dante,Myla, Froy, Obet & Joel
